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I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

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I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

Post by D e a t h y on Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:14 am

Something strange happened me today... was playing TT and was having a normal conversation with Fail and Vague about the old players like deadeye, leaf, etc. And he said something about deadeye which wasn't true because I was deadeye. So I said "I'm deadeye, and i never used to do that lol" and then Fail was shocked how I was deadeye etc. etc. and after the conversation I realised something and it kind of freaked me out...

I'm not deadeye. It's something I just said back when I was new so I could feel like a pro, because when starting out this game that was what I wanted to be.. I wanted to be known! And it's something I' started and carried through my immature years, and as a result it got to a point where I actually believed I was somebody I'm not when I was mature.

I know that it sounds fucking stupid.. and looking back I also realise that I told everybody I'm not vkknap. But in truth I am vkknap. I always have been. I was also 'darkeye' and every other fucking player where I said "he's my cousin, friend etc." And the reason why I said that... The reason I created these lies, was because I HATED losing. My goal was to be the best, and I couldn't get there if I was losing games. So I created multiple 'known' accounts.. or people rather, so if I lost on one.. I could pretend I didn't lose because: "Deathy lost.. but vkknap hasn't!" (I know there were better methods to self-motivate, but I wasn't incredibly bright at the time since I was like 11 years old). And the lies continued to grow and expand from 2007 -> 2010. And in the past year (I quit for 2 years before then) I was still telling people I was deadeye and I wasn't darkeye or vkknap, even though I have matured over the past few years. And I didn't say it because I wanted to continue lieing.. I said it because it became automatic. I BELIEVED the lie that I told everybody else. And I just remembered who I really am now. So there you fucking have it!

And I'm not telling you all this because I want you to know the truth. In all honesty I don't really give a fuck who you think I am. And I also think most of you's are reading this like "don't really care..." I'm saying this to you guys so I could be honest completely honest on TT for the first time, ever  Neutral. I was fucking lieing without even realising that I was lieing. And nothing, was scarier than that moment because I realised how harmful it could potentially be if that happened with other things in my life. (Now I also understand how some people are just incredibly stupid. It's because they don't REALISE that they're stupid, Razz).

And I also want to apologise to Joker (eagle). He did exactly what I have been doing for 7 years, and everybody hated him because of it, including me. And now I realise that joker and I are exactly the same. So that makes me one big mother fucking hypocrite, and I didn't even realise it until now...

You have no IDEA how fucking disappointed I am in myself for being so blind for so many years.. but at least I learned how to see before I had quit for good :')
Ok that's it for gay intervention shit haha, thanks for reading if you have this far and I'm sorry for being dishonest in the past <3

D e a t h y
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Re: I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

Post by Foxx on Sun Feb 16, 2014 11:25 am

alright i guess its my turn to fess up too

This may seem hard to believe but... I am the account "notfoxx" Phewww, huge weight off my shoulders.

LETS GET IT!

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Re: I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

Post by Aztec on Sun Feb 16, 2014 2:06 pm

Damn.... I had my suspicions, but I never cared to much because it didn't affect me. Not sure what to say lol.
I understand why though. We've all had our share of false names, or made up identities. I know I made accounts like that, but I never got too carried away with it. Usually just deleted after a few days. Kids do weird things like that, and it can get out of control if there is no one to pay attention to it. So I understand. I'm glad you managed to spill the beans yourself though, because only you could. It had to be something you overcame as a person and you managed to do it. It shows good character, it's not easy to admit something like that. It's good to finally get to know you, Deathy.

Also i'm 'poopbutt'

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Re: I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

Post by glow on Sun Feb 16, 2014 6:41 pm

slowlearner actually did that once. the account that i have now known as 'grape' was played by him. he played as both of them for a time. there was even once when they did a top 10 and he was like number 4 as slowlearner and then grape was number 6. i thought it was pretty funny. i have done somethings that u have done to a point. there r times when i would make a new account and play slightly differently to c how people treated me. honestly they treated me a ton different. not that i was much better tho. if i won it was usually jus barely because i was holding back. then they would complain and do a rematch and it would continue. often times id use a chief and purposefully use less warriors to c if i could win strategically. when u r known for being good u have a lot more respect even for using a chief and such. i understand y u did that deathy. i had to live behind slowlearner and wolf link for a long time. they were always better than me. i lost a ton of games to them. but it is also because of them that i got better and that glow_worm is the now the most winningest and losingest account in the history of tt.

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Re: I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

Post by vague_response on Sun Feb 16, 2014 9:31 pm

Aztec wrote:Also i'm 'poopbutt'

oooohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

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Re: I want everybody to know this. Who I really am :/

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